i started therapy again, i did started it back on 2017, and now i started it back again as i started suffering panic attacks, so i needed the therapy more than ever, on 2017 i had to go back as suicidal thoughts kicked in again, along with the previously mentioned boredom, so i did and i felt better until now.
i read a lot of my exes status, information and blogs, pretending to do it because i worry, and i genuinely do, but also because i want to know if they ever think of me, like just to know I'm not just someone hey just used and never thought of him again, and i always get the same:
they never mention me, ever, like i never existed in their lives...so then i get depressed, and it's like i'm looking for that depression, dunno how to stop that, i need to mention that to my therapist... i want to get better and not only pretend i am...|